[ oh yeah, totally. only that. but it doesn't really matter, because bokuto feels like things are finally starting to normalize. feels like he's, for the first time in a long time, feeling more normal.
they go on inside, though, because it's the same lay-out as his house so he's still pretty familiar with it. he stops and turns back at the question, watches akaashi take a deep breath with a very confused look.
and then he freezes. feels the room go cold in the half-second after. how long has he been here? he thinks back over the weeks, the months. the nights he sat up in bed unable to sleep and the days where it was weird just moving around, going to class. for a few moments, he can't really answer, because he's back to that feeling that been building since prom and it feels suffocating, but he pushes it away. ]
Uh. [ suddenly, everything feels awkward. like he's done something he shouldn't have. he looks a little guilty as his hand moves to the back of his neck, his eyes diverting. he doesn't want to tell him, but he also can't not. not when akaashi asks him so directly.
he kind of wishes whoever told him hadn't, because then maybe bokuto could have not told him at all. ] I don't...really remember. A few months? Or like- three? Maybe?
[ akaashi doesn't press for an answer, and honestly, if bokuto didn't want to tell him akaashi wouldn't have pried. he almost doesn't expect an answer when bokuto fidgets, looks so uncomfortable in his own skin that it almost throws akaashi for a loop. he's seen downswings in bokuto's mood before but this isn't quite the same.
something else new and different for him to deal with. lovely.
a few months. three. and akaashi visibly winces. that's a long time, especially if it's just been him and hinata and some people from miyagi. bokuto probably misses his friends from fukurodani, friends like him. it explains that bone crushing hug from earlier, the way he was so desperately running to the door. the problem is that now akaashi isn't sure what to say.
he picks the safest ground he can think up without stalling. ]
I'm sorry, Bokuto-san, you didn't have to tell me if it makes you uncomfortable.
[ bokuto feels weird about it, honestly. he's not used to not telling akaashi everything, not used to his first response being no, just lie about it. it was weird, and part of what he was trying to fight, and it's been so long since he's seen akaashi it makes sense it would feel a little weird.
he doesn't like it, but he doesn't like the way akaashi winces when he answers, guilt curling in the pit of his stomach. he shouldn't have said anything. he knew he shouldn't have. ] Sorry.
[ but then akaashi is apologizing and bokuto just shakes his head. ] No it's fine! I just...forgot, I guess. I couldn't really do anything about it. [ forced shrug. see, all is good akaashi! TOTALLY FINE. ]
[ yeah, bokuto is totally fine, and akaashi is the queen of france.
akaashi can practically touch the tension rolling off of bokuto's shoulders, and it's honestly troubling because he can't remember the last time he's seen bokuto quite like this (or if he ever has, period). he wants to do something about it, he does, but he's not sure if there really is anything he can do. ]
...I won't pry Bokuto-san, but if you want to talk about it you can come to me.
[ he leaves his offer open, but completely genuine. ]
[ akaashi could be if he wanted. he's pretty enough.
it just feels weird. bokuto usually ranges in his emotions, from one extreme to the other, but in that shifting comes a near-comfort in the familiarity of it. when he's upset, he's not confused about it. when he's excited, he's not confused about it. what he feels, now, with the way akaashi is looking at him, confuses him. ]
I'm fine. [ said quick, too quick, but bokuto doesn't know what else he's supposed to do or say. and akaashi just got here and that's more important, right? right. and the idea of showing akaashi around doesn't make him feel....weird. ]
It's nothing! You just got here. I can show you around instead. Did you see the sports center?
this is getting weird for akaashi, there's no two ways about it. he has no sure way of comforting bokuto besides being here and listening. it feels like his first year all over again, trying to make a team with a wild uperclassman. but he's not going to push it further, he's afraid what will happen if he does. ] If you say so, Bokuto-san.
[obviously he doesn't believe it, but at least their are other things to focus on. ] No, I've only walked around this area with the houses. I haven't really explored anywhere else.
no it's definitely weird, and bokuto definitely doesn't like it. the awkward tension that's settling in the air between them is not what he wanted akaashi's first day to be and that's upsetting, upsetting that he's the one doing that. that he's causing it.
he shakes his head to try and shake himself out of it. takes a breath and is smiling again when akaashi agrees. okay. he can show him around. that's easy enough. ] You haven't? Aw man Akaashi I have to show you everything! [ he's not quite back to his normal levels of excitement, but he's getting closer. ]
Do you want to go now? [ bokuto wants to go now. ]
for a moment, after akaashi agrees, his excitement is more genuine. a smile that breaks out as he reaches forward and grabs akaashi's hand, pulls it behind him as he heads back out the front door. ]
Perfect! I can show you the sports center and the school! [ get ready akaashi, bokuto wants to show you off to all of holly heights. ]
[ yes, but is akaashi used to bokuto not actually letting go once akaashi finally starts following him? because there is definitely a lot of those moments of 'wait does he really still need to be holding my hand' to follow. ]
Yup! Though Hinata and I put a half court in our living room, the legit one is at the center.
[ half court in the living room.... god, akaashi really needs to have Words with these two, but not today. akaashi allows the hand holding for a minute, but once it's a little too long that akaashi slips his hand out. or tries, at least. ]
Then maybe we can go there last after you show me everything else?
[ bokuto's going to hold his hand a little tighter when he feels akaashi try to slip away. at least for a few more moments, before he suddenly seems to notice and let go.
( he may or may not deflate a little when he does so, his eyes holding on where they're looking at akaashi's hand before he turns forward again ) ]
[ he doesn't know that! akaashi, just let him cling for a second, okay? is that so har-
wait.
wait.
bokuto stops mid-step, turning to look at akaashi with wide eyes. there's something a little awestruck about the look, like if he didn't know that everything he ever wanted was just sitting there. right in front of him.
( he'll figure it out soon enough, shh. ) ]
Tosses? [ a beat, and then his eyes widen even more as he smiles. ] You'll toss to me?
[ there it is, that's a lot better than the forced smiles and slumped shoulders. still, akaashi looks a little bit confused, because the question seems silly. ]
Of course I will Bokuto-san. [ i always do lingers in his voice, unsaid. ]
[ he feels lighter, now. lighter than he has in months. it's not like he hasn't had someone to toss to him - oikawa had been more than happy to help. but they were also both third years, both set in their ways, learning to play with players they'd never had to work off of before.
it was still awkward, though it'd been getting better. but when faced with something familiar, achingly familiar, bokuto feels like yelling.
he won't, thankfully, but he feels like he could. instead, he just ends up nodding, excited, and starts walking back off down the street. school first! ] It'll be good for you to see the center, too. Rin'll probably be there! And a bunch of others. That's where a lot of us hang out, usually.
[ well, that's true. bokuto's basically bouncing as they walk down the street. ]
Rin who is kinda in charge of the center swims, and Maki who also is in charge cycles! There are also a bunch of basketball players here too. That's why it's a whole sports center! And not just volleyball.
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they go on inside, though, because it's the same lay-out as his house so he's still pretty familiar with it. he stops and turns back at the question, watches akaashi take a deep breath with a very confused look.
and then he freezes. feels the room go cold in the half-second after. how long has he been here? he thinks back over the weeks, the months. the nights he sat up in bed unable to sleep and the days where it was weird just moving around, going to class. for a few moments, he can't really answer, because he's back to that feeling that been building since prom and it feels suffocating, but he pushes it away. ]
Uh. [ suddenly, everything feels awkward. like he's done something he shouldn't have. he looks a little guilty as his hand moves to the back of his neck, his eyes diverting. he doesn't want to tell him, but he also can't not. not when akaashi asks him so directly.
he kind of wishes whoever told him hadn't, because then maybe bokuto could have not told him at all. ] I don't...really remember. A few months? Or like- three? Maybe?
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something else new and different for him to deal with. lovely.
a few months. three. and akaashi visibly winces. that's a long time, especially if it's just been him and hinata and some people from miyagi. bokuto probably misses his friends from fukurodani, friends like him. it explains that bone crushing hug from earlier, the way he was so desperately running to the door. the problem is that now akaashi isn't sure what to say.
he picks the safest ground he can think up without stalling. ]
I'm sorry, Bokuto-san, you didn't have to tell me if it makes you uncomfortable.
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he doesn't like it, but he doesn't like the way akaashi winces when he answers, guilt curling in the pit of his stomach. he shouldn't have said anything. he knew he shouldn't have. ] Sorry.
[ but then akaashi is apologizing and bokuto just shakes his head. ] No it's fine! I just...forgot, I guess. I couldn't really do anything about it. [ forced shrug. see, all is good akaashi! TOTALLY FINE. ]
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akaashi can practically touch the tension rolling off of bokuto's shoulders, and it's honestly troubling because he can't remember the last time he's seen bokuto quite like this (or if he ever has, period). he wants to do something about it, he does, but he's not sure if there really is anything he can do. ]
...I won't pry Bokuto-san, but if you want to talk about it you can come to me.
[ he leaves his offer open, but completely genuine. ]
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it just feels weird. bokuto usually ranges in his emotions, from one extreme to the other, but in that shifting comes a near-comfort in the familiarity of it. when he's upset, he's not confused about it. when he's excited, he's not confused about it. what he feels, now, with the way akaashi is looking at him, confuses him. ]
I'm fine. [ said quick, too quick, but bokuto doesn't know what else he's supposed to do or say. and akaashi just got here and that's more important, right? right. and the idea of showing akaashi around doesn't make him feel....weird. ]
It's nothing! You just got here. I can show you around instead. Did you see the sports center?
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this is getting weird for akaashi, there's no two ways about it. he has no sure way of comforting bokuto besides being here and listening. it feels like his first year all over again, trying to make a team with a wild uperclassman. but he's not going to push it further, he's afraid what will happen if he does. ] If you say so, Bokuto-san.
[obviously he doesn't believe it, but at least their are other things to focus on. ] No, I've only walked around this area with the houses. I haven't really explored anywhere else.
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no it's definitely weird, and bokuto definitely doesn't like it. the awkward tension that's settling in the air between them is not what he wanted akaashi's first day to be and that's upsetting, upsetting that he's the one doing that. that he's causing it.
he shakes his head to try and shake himself out of it. takes a breath and is smiling again when akaashi agrees. okay. he can show him around. that's easy enough. ] You haven't? Aw man Akaashi I have to show you everything! [ he's not quite back to his normal levels of excitement, but he's getting closer. ]
Do you want to go now? [ bokuto wants to go now. ]
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he wishes bokuto's excitement was more genuine, but akaashi will take what he can get. ]
Alright. [why not, honestly. akaashi gets up and looks to the door, letting bokuto lead the way. ]
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for a moment, after akaashi agrees, his excitement is more genuine. a smile that breaks out as he reaches forward and grabs akaashi's hand, pulls it behind him as he heads back out the front door. ]
Perfect! I can show you the sports center and the school! [ get ready akaashi, bokuto wants to show you off to all of holly heights. ]
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thankfully, akaashi is used to the grab hand and tug along routine from bokuto, and he just goes with the flow of following him outside. ]
The sports center is where the gym and court is, right?
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Yup! Though Hinata and I put a half court in our living room, the legit one is at the center.
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Then maybe we can go there last after you show me everything else?
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( he may or may not deflate a little when he does so, his eyes holding on where they're looking at akaashi's hand before he turns forward again ) ]
Where, the center or my house?
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The center. It'll be easier to do some practice tosses then.
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wait.
wait.
bokuto stops mid-step, turning to look at akaashi with wide eyes. there's something a little awestruck about the look, like if he didn't know that everything he ever wanted was just sitting there. right in front of him.
( he'll figure it out soon enough, shh. ) ]
Tosses? [ a beat, and then his eyes widen even more as he smiles. ] You'll toss to me?
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Of course I will Bokuto-san. [ i always do lingers in his voice, unsaid. ]
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it was still awkward, though it'd been getting better. but when faced with something familiar, achingly familiar, bokuto feels like yelling.
he won't, thankfully, but he feels like he could. instead, he just ends up nodding, excited, and starts walking back off down the street. school first! ] It'll be good for you to see the center, too. Rin'll probably be there! And a bunch of others. That's where a lot of us hang out, usually.
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You mean you and the others from Nekoma and Karasuno?
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[ well, that's true. bokuto's basically bouncing as they walk down the street. ]
Rin who is kinda in charge of the center swims, and Maki who also is in charge cycles! There are also a bunch of basketball players here too. That's why it's a whole sports center! And not just volleyball.
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[ he's more excited about the fact they have enough people for a whole team now but that's besides the point. ]
Rin's trying to put together a sports day festival thing where we all play each other's sports. It should be really fun!
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It sounds like the cultural festivals at school.
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Yeah! But it's all through the sports center. So I guess it's like a sports culture festival?
[ there's a brief moment where bokuto is kind of thinking about it before he nods. yeah, that works for him. ]
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[ sparkles ]
Then you could maybe be paired up with me!!!!
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